So Tired
by Simply Cool
Summary: Ferb had not expected to walk into the room to find Phineas talking to a video camera, a gun to his head. His heart stopped and he froze, eyes wide. Phineas had never sounded so broken and alone. "Phin," he stepped forwards. "Please don't do this." "STOP!" Phineas shouted. "D-don't take another step! Or I'll do it!" Lots and lots of brotherly fluff and darkness. Oneshot.


Ferb froze. His heart thudded in his throat as he stepped into their room.

Phineas, his twelve-year-old brother, stood there with the gun to his head. Ferb made as little noise as possible as he slid into the room.

"I'm sorry," Phineas said quietly. Ferb started, thinking he had sensed him, but Phineas kept talking. Ferb's heart leapt as he saw the video camera facing Phineas, who stared into the light, showing it was recording. "I'm sorry, mom. I'm sorry, dad. And I'm sorry, Ferb and Candace. I love you all so much. And… I'm _sorry _Isabella, for not being there when you needed me. I love you. I'm _sorry _Buford and Baljeet, for not helping you guys when you needed help with homework and bullying. And I'm sorry, but I'm just so tired. I'm just so _so tired. _I'm sorry for not being strong anymore. I'm sorry for giving up. But it's just so _hard."_

Ferb had tears streaming down his face. He moved forwards slowly, before Phineas's hand tightened on the trigger.

"I tried. I know my life isn't as hard as some people's is, but I'm not strong like you all are. I know I'm young, but I just _can't." _Phineas took a deep breath, obviously steadying his nerves. "And Ferb, I'm _especially _sorry to you. I need you to know how much I love you. But I'm just _so tired. _I just can't do this. Please forgive me. I know I'm worthless and stupid and ugly and fat and- and-" he broke off in a sob. "Selfish. I'm so, so selfish for doing this. I'm sorry. I'm sorry to everyone, even myself. I love you all _so __**so **_much."

Ferb stepped forwards. "Phineas."

Phineas jumped around, the gun still to his head. "Ferb!"

"Phineas, put down the gun. Please."

Phineas started crying. Ferb didn't move, as to not frighten him. "But- But Ferb. I'm just so _scared."_

Ferb moved forwards slowly. Phineas shouted, "STOP! D-don't move!"

"Phin, listen to me. You're not stupid, or ugly, or worthless. You're the most wonderful person in the whole wide world. You're my _brother, _and I need you."

Phineas's hand trembled. Ferb took a step forwards, then back when Phineas tightened the finger, the shivering finger on the trigger that could end his life any second. "I-I'm _this close. _To _freedom. _To a better world."

"But in this world, where nothing's perfect, people love you. People love you so much they would do anything for you."

Phineas sank to his knees. Ferb waited for him to speak. A minute later he said, "But I don't love me."

Ferb managed to kneel down in front of him. He waited until Phineas looked him in the eyes, and then said, "_I _love you."

Phineas's arm trembled, before he slowly lowered it to the ground. Ferb stood back, not wanting to cause any stress. "A-are you going to force me?" Phineas whispered.

"No. I would never force you to do anything."

Phineas dropped the gun. Horrible, heart-wrenching sobs tore through him as he put his head in his hands, crying his heart out. Ferb felt his heart break, then bleed. He dashed forwards, taking his younger brother into his arms and running his hands through his hair. Phineas tensed, before slumping into his brother. Small arms wrapped around his neck as Phineas cried into his shoulder, sobs wrenching his body around. Ferb wrapped his arms around his brother's waist, feeling ribs and bones. When was the last time this kid _ate? _He whispered into Phineas's ear, "Tomorrow we'll get up and build an invention. Candace will try to get mom to see, but it will disappear. Then we'll see Perry, and everything will be fine."

Phineas rested his head on his brother's shoulder, small cries of anguish and pure _pain _coming from him.

Ferb had had no idea Phineas felt this way. In fact, he had never noticed the suspicious scars on his wrists before now. It was like his eyes had been opened to everything about Phineas he'd never noticed before.

"Who made you feel this way?" he asked quietly, rubbing his brother's back. He felt Phineas shift in his arms, before shaking his head. "It doesn't matter."

Ferb frowned. He would get this out of Phineas later. Right now Phineas _needed _him. So he'd be there.

Ferb felt Phineas relax slightly, soft breaths and whimpers coming from him now and again. Ferb closed his eyes, a pang of sick horror rising up in him as he realized he had come _this close _to losing Phineas.

So Ferb waited until Phineas was asleep, before picking him up like someone would a toddler. He placed him gently on their bed, before whistling. Perry came waddling into the room. His eyes focused on Ferb, who nodded.

Remembering the video camera, he turned it off with his foot. Ferb picked Perry up, murmuring in his ear to _stay _with Phineas, or he'd get _no treats _for a month.

Ferb grabbed the offending gun, running downstairs. He ran outside, chasing the bin lorry and chucking it in. He heard a grinding noise of metal being broken down, and smiled.

Ferb was watching TV when Phineas came downstairs. He raised his eyebrows as Phineas stood uncertainly at the door, patting the space beside him. Phineas took it, leaning against Ferb. Said boy wrapped his arm around his brother's shoulders. The kid obviously was having a very unstable, hard time. Ferb was going to show him which paths were sturdy, which ones to take, because he was a big brother.

And that's what big brothers do.


End file.
